A man of royal blood is lost, and reminds us of our True King.

 I'm driving to the bank during my lunch break today, when I'm stopped before getting to the freeway. There's a cop car blocking off the on ramp, and he's waving cars by.

 Now, I wouldn't say this is necessarily an everyday thing, but with constant construction and idiot drivers, accidents happen pretty commonly on the freeway. But hey, It looks pretty serious and I'm a curious person.

 So I follow some side streets until I reach a bridge over the freeway a few blocks down. I figure this is where the action will be, and it looks like I guessed correctly. Cars are parked all along the overpass, and there's even some cop cars in the mix. Everyone's looking over one side of the bridge toward the direction of the blocked on ramp I just came from. At this point, a couple police helicopters fly overhead. Ooh.. This is gonna be good.

 So I look down at the freeway wanting to see what sort of horrors everyone's looking at. Is a car flipped? How many are involved? Have ambulances arrived yet? Is it bloody? Should I rush to help and try to make use of my limited first responder skills? My heart's beating with the possibilities.

  But what's this? The freeway's empty. Is the action below me? If so what are all the people looking at?

 Sirens begin to blare in the distance, and then I see them. About ten cop cars all with lights on heading slowly down the road. Shouldn't they be in a hurry? Oh... it's just a transport. Is this seriously all just for some famous person passing through? Really? They blocked off the whole freeway just to create a convoy for some political leader or something. Great. What a letdown.




 And then I notice the man beside me in a police uniform.




 He's got his hat off and held against his chest. He's looking forward. Silent, his eyes intently gaze at the lights. Still touching his heart, he steps closer to the fence and raises his other hand out against the chain links and toward the cars. He lets it rest there for a second as if  he feels something needs to be said. He then lets out a sigh, and steps back to his original position to continue to watch, resigned to the fact that words won't be enough anyway.

 As if his reluctant sigh was their signal, cars begin to flood down the freeway. Hundreds go by, each with their lights on. From highway patrol to rangers to undercover vehicles, they somberly drive in a single file line. There's a continuous flicker of sound as dozens of sirens get activated and deactivated over and over again. This goes on for minutes, and the cop cars seem never ending.

 It was Loud. Defiant. Powerful. Shattering.

 Someone tells me at this point that it's because an officer has died. I learn later that this is the funeral procession for Carl Howell, a nine year veteran of the Carson Sheriff's office, who's been shot and killed after responding to a domestic violence call.

All the sudden, I see it with new eyes. This is no emergency. This is honor shown to someone who deserves all the honor we can dish out. I'm in tears. So many people, all here to honor a good man who defended those who couldn't defend themselves. This is a heavy moment. But it has a sense of triumph. A sense of victory.

But why is that? Why is it that I confused this moment with something like royalty being in town? Aren't these two opposite things? How can they feel so similar?

I think it's because we know deep down that a true leader is someone who is willing to die for the people he serves. A true leader sacrifices everything he has for the sake of his people. But I think it might even be deeper than that. Something is ingrained in us where we understand in our core that a man who dies for someone else is worthy of royalty. Something about such a sacrificial and selfless act convinces us we have come across someone of greatness truly worth giving everything we have for.

The problem is, once someone has proven this they're gone. Because we've lost them, we can't follow them.

But there is one man who has conquered death.

This man not only died for someone, he died for you. If someone who gives up his life for another is worthy of being treated as royalty, how much more worthy of this is someone who died specifically for you? Doesn't that man deserve to be called King? And this man lives! Though he died for your sake at a great cost to himself, he conquered death and calls you into his kingdom. Look and see the victory in this! The one worthy of the ultimate kingship lives! Let the sirens blare.

The true joy of eternity

I was listening to"This Is Not the End" by Gungor the other day.
One line in the song says "we will open our eyes wider". As simple as this line is, I hints at a profound spiritual truth. That truth being, we will be made whole in Christ.

When we think of the afterlife we think of harps and clouds. We think of a quiet place full of little cherubs and silent whispers. We think of a haze where the spirits of loved ones quietly hover around and smile at us while we all glide across mists of light.

This view of eternity is not based in scripture though. Jesus told the thief at the cross that he would see him in Paradise. Paradise. (Luke 23:43) That doesn't sound like a vale of white to me. That sounds like an abundance of life and color. Now, I know that's stretching it a bit. But the Bible does say more.

Check this out;

Then God's temple in heaven was opened, and the ark of his covenant was seen within his temple. There were flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, an earthquake, and heavy hail. -Revelation 11:19

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. - Philippians 3:20-21

And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and its gates will never be shut by day—and there will be no night there. They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations. - Revelation 21:22-27


I think it can be summed up with this quote by CS Lewis:

"Probably earthly pleasures were never meant to satisfy it, but only to arouse it, to suggest the real thing. If that is so, I must take care, on the one hand, never to despise, or be unthankful for, these earthly blessings, and on the other, never to mistake them for the something else of which they are only a kind of copy, or echo, or mirage. I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same."


We tend to think of this current existence as a reality, and eternity as the dream. In truth, we have it backward. We will be made whole, and be able to experience the joys of God in full through it. For all the beauty and life this world holds, we look at it all through what Paul calls a "dim mirror" (1 Corinthians 13:12). Let us not run through life grabbing what joys we can before death because we feel this is the only time to experience it.  Let's instead look forward to the day when we finally get to wake up and truly live.

It's been a while

I haven't posted here in what seems like forever. It's not that I didn't want to, or that I ran out of ideas. That's not the case at all. There were so many things I had the urge to say, and so many times I resolved to get on here and say something to the world. But it never happened.

And, this blog isn't the only thing. I had so many grand notions of things to do, intimately planned out with careful detail, only to be eventually cast aside. My life is full of thoughts never reaching reality.

Why?

Because I just don't have the energy. Many of my mornings are filled with hitting the snooze button 5 or more times before actually getting up, and usually it's because my bladder finally can't handle another minute of retention. And, Some days even that isn't enough. Every second of my waking life has the background notion that a nap sounds amazing right now. And that's the case if I get 6 hours sleep, or 16.

Don't get me wrong though. I'm not depressed. I love my life, and all the little experiences of it. I miss out on a lot. But what I do actually end up doing, I love. I just find myself slouching most days, or looking for something to lean on is all.

Doctors don't know what's up. Every now and again, there's a hopeful lead, but nothing seems to be the answer. Whatever this is, it started when I was 17. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks with a very rare blood bacteria, and the tiredness came shortly after. The bacteria is gone, but the fatigue never leaves. After the first 5 years of actively seeking out a diagnosis and cure, I kind of just gave up on it. It was just talking too much time and energy.

But that's not to say I gave up out of hopelessness and desperation. It was more of a letting go thing. I'm somewhat diminished by it, but I'm still functional. And spending all that time and effort trying to find a cure for it was stopping me from enjoying life. It turned it into a "I can't live life until this is fixed" sort of thing, and I was fixated on what life could be, instead of what it already was.

The crazy thing is, there's times when I love it. Don't get me wrong, if a solution comes along I'll take it in a heartbeat. But as it stands now, I consider the fatigue a tremendous blessing.

I know what you're thinking, That makes no sense. Is it that I like to suffer? Do I fill like it's some sort of way of paying for my past sins? Am I afraid of success?

No, it's nothing like that. I'll show you what I mean by walking you through a typical "off" day.

Sleeping for 8 hours 
. 
*Alarm*   
Agh! Did I set it wrong? There's no way that was more than a few hours. At least my phone's nearby. 8:00am? Well, I guess I can sacrifice ten minutes, that just means a short shower.

*Alarm* 
Already? Crap. I can't get up. Okay, 20 more minutes, and no shower today with breakfast on the go.  
*Alarm* 
 Get up. Get up! GET. UP.

I sit up, feel like fainting, drop back onto the pillow.  

Not again. I have to be places. Come on body, work with me. What's that thing Paul said? I beat my body and make it my slave? Come on body, submit! I can't. I just can't. It's not working. I can't miss today though. What do I do? God, help me. Please, give me the strength I need for today. I can't do it. I need you.



And so, most every morning for me becomes a battle that I lose on my own. I end up stuck, and then I pray. And when I pray, strength almost always comes. And in those rare times when it doesn't come, things work out anyway. It's like I'm hanging in there by a thread, but the thread is indestructible. And because of it, I see God more clearly. In having to rely on him moment to moment,  I can't deny his constant provision. I get to spend most every day with a true gratitude that I'm up and moving to experience it. And that wouldn't happen if my body wasn't broken. If I was well, I'd miss out on a lot of the beauty that God sends my way. And so for that, I'm thankful for this thorn in my side.

RE: time for fellowship

Too busy? No worries. There will be plenty of other times to catch up. And even if every last one of those fall through somehow, we're still going to the same place after we're made whole. So do what you have to do now, and with no fear of missed fellowship. We need fellowship to be effective tools of Christ, but sometimes where we get that fellowship changes as we walk forward on the path God has for us. Those old connections to the body are never lost though, just put on hold until He comes. So again, no worries. If life has so much to it right now that trying to find time to meet is an added stress, then let's wait until it isn't all hectic. Because at the very latest we'll catch up on the other side of eternity, but it will happen one time or another. Those who don't yet know the truth are our true priority for now. We must do what we can to show them truth so that we can see them with us on the other side. If you can only make one meeting right now, see them so we might not lose out on their company in the true life.

A breakup letter.

Dear Winter,

Have we really become that couple? You know, the one that calls it off and then gets back together week after week? I feel like we have. I mean, you were gone, weren't you? I didn't like it one bit, but you left me with hardly a weeks notice.

But wasn't always this way. I remember when I was young; you were solid then. My birthday? Christmas? You never missed a single one. I would wake up and run downstairs knowing you'd be right outside the door. Those were fun, innocent times full of smiling and laughter. I remember being amazed by you.

You came around less and less over the years, but it never really bothered me then. I was growing up and getting ready for college, and you were somewhere off in the east coast most of the time(or at least that's what I heard). Sure we had a few days here and there where we would meet up, but for the most part we just didn't cross paths all too much. And that was okay.

And then I moved out of my parent's place. It was a difficult time for me. I had no job, and little in the way of friendships. I was lost, and didn't know what to do next. But there you were, as an old friend I had forgotten, showing up just as I needed you. You gave me a job opportunity, and I'm still thankful for that.

Remember that first year up on the hill? It was like a dream. You supported me long into spring. Just when it seemed like you gave all you could, I'd fall in wonder at a fresh dusting of new blessings. I remember gliding through everything, feeling like I was atop clouds. It was all so perfect.

Until you left. I mean, we both knew it was coming. You had business in new Zealand and elsewhere halfway across the world. But it was still a sad time full of uncertainty. What would I do without you? What could I do but hang in there and await your return?

You were so different though when you came back. Changed somehow. I expected to see you late December, but you didn't show until a month later. Do you know how hard that was, just waiting and wondering if you would even be there at all? I don't know how I made it though. But even when you did come back, you were hardly there. I couldn't have the same fun that I remembered. I know some of it was my second job, and me being more busy. Life happens like that. But you hardly even tried it seemed like. And before I knew it you were gone again.

That was a good time for me. I learned to be sufficient without you. I learned how to thrive even. I almost forgot about you.

But the cycle came around again like it always does, and there you were again. It seemed routine at that point, so I didn't think much of it. I knew you were coming back, and I knew we would play this game again.

I was fine until I saw you. All freshly powdered, you looked so pretty that first day. I had forgotten how beautiful you could make everything around you seem. Of course, I ended up falling for you again. I suppose I hoped the old you was back, the one I remembered from a couple years back. I wanted to believe it could be magical again.

I put too much pressure on you, raised it up to be this thing you could never deliver on. I'm really sorry for that. But it doesn't change that fact that you became fickle, and flaky. You would come almost weekly with new promises, and they would melt within days. I don't think you actually caused me to smile once this year. I more just bared your presence as a means to an end.

There were times when I'd look to the sky with hope, but that hope would quickly fade. I just remember cloudy days, riddled with rain. I remember feeling chilled to the bone with your presence, but not knowing how to get rid of you. It was dark, and hopeless.

You sort of solved that for me by leaving. As you left, things immediately brightened up. I could see the sun again, and felt warm for the first time in what felt like an eternity. There was laughter.

But, of course you weren't done. A part of me was glad to see you come back. As you settled, it seemed like you were finally here to stay. You seemed solid again, and deep. I believed at first that you weren't going anywhere. That's why it hurt so much when I decided it was time for me to pack up and leave. I knew in my heart (and so did everyone else) that you would be leave again.

And so I took action. I moved on. I thought it was finally for good. I was free of this. I was free of you. I began to see this wide open future full of possibility. I began to have hope for new life and bright things. I brought out clothes I hadn't worn in ages because I could never wear them around you. I was even thinking about planning a road trip to the coast just because I could. I was ready to feel the warmth of a new season.

But there you were again last night, showing up at my doorstep. And of course I can't say no. How could I? I just don't have that kind of power. So I let you stay, and tried to make the best of it. I even thought for the briefest of moments that you would wouldn't go, at least not for a while. I even got to liking the idea of being with you again. But here I am feeling cold, knowing that you're already dissolving away. If I'm honest with myself, chances are that every sign of you being here will be gone by the time I finish this letter.


So I'm finally taking action; making a stand. You need to leave for good Winter. I can't keep doing this. I need more. I know we had a good thing before. But that's gone. I need color in my life. You can't come back. It's over. I choose sunny days, and birds, and rainstorms, and life. You just can't give me that. You're cold, you're clouded, you remind me of dead things.

Leave and don't come back. Seriously.

The overthinking believer

I think too much.

Way too much.

Seriously. About anything and everything, big and small. Relevant and irrelevant. I just can't stop. I've tried many times. But it doesn't do me a lick of good. My mind just keeps going and going with no signs of stopping.

This has, historically speaking, caused a ton of worry in my life. It's even to the point that I've been known to recount entire conversations over and over in my head just to analyze, and see if I said something but meant something else. It's a wonder I'm not one of those high strung personalities that goes and goes and goes, and overworks and over stresses himself.

I blame a chemical imbalance for this lack of "drive". I've had it as long as I can remember. I just don't seem to have the ability to go above and beyond in most cases. My life consists of hanging in there just enough to get by, and that's all I can do.

I call it a blessing though, because it forces me to realize I don't have control. With my over thinking, I would become overly confident in myself and my ability to be "on top of things", had I the proper energy. I would forget that I am ultimately useless when it comes to choosing my path in life.

Because I really am just along for the ride. Sure, I can make life decisions big and small. But, it's really not up to me. Which, is a good thing because I really do not know what is best for me. Sure, I have some ideas. But those change with the seasons, and I'm indecisive.

But God, who is completely unchanging, is not. So His plan for me is His plan for me, and will never change. Better than that even, He loves me. So His direction for my life consists of amazing things for me. Things so good I can't even imagine. And that's an extreme comfort. I know with confidence that no matter what I do, or where I end up, I am going to be blessed beyond measure because He calls me son.

Sweet.

So, where does this leave my brain that loves to overthink?

Well, I for one think that my thoughts still have a purpose in light of the gospel of grace. Worry has no place, that's for sure. But that's not to say thoughts about anything and everything are inherently bad. God gave my my brain, and God gave me my reason to go along with it.


And when worry is taken out of the equation, it becomes a great asset. I get to meditate on the wonders of this life and world we've been given. I get to dig as deep as I can into the infinitude of the character of Christ. I get to find new ways to explain my experiences, and the world around me. And best of all, I get to reveal to others small hints of what God has revealed to me. My overthinking is then turned around into a method of inspiring and uplifting those around me in the Truth of the Word.


When separated from worry, my thoughts have great value.

Trees

I'm really starting to like trees

I work at a ski resort, and see them all around me as I do my job. In the mountains, they're everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. There's too many to count. There's so many that if I look off into the distance and pick one out from far off, There's a great chance that no one in history has ever looked specifically at that one tree before. It's been buried so deep in a sea of green siblings (er.. saplings?) that it's been blended into a seeming insignificance.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize the value of these single trees. These trees that are so common, they can't be forgotten because they were never before remembered in the first place. Though existing in innumerable abundance, each one says wonders about the truths of the reality of God.

God loves trees, and I really believe that's why the planet is filled with so many of them. Just look at the Bible. Straight from the beginning, we see God having special joy with them. In fact, they were of the first life He created on the Earth (Gen 1:11). In honor of the creation of man, God blesses his work by planting a special garden full of especially beautiful trees (Gen 2: 8-9). In this garden He forms two unique trees; The tree of Life, and the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Both of these trees, of course, play a huge role in the future of mankind.

It doesn't stop there though. In fact, God uses trees for just about everything. After Adam and Eve sin, they try to cover themselves with leaves of a tree (Gen 3:7). The Noah's Ark was made with a tree (Gen 6: 15-16), and so was Solomon's temple (1 Kings 6: 9-10). We see the bloodlines of future generations laid out by God referred to as sacred roots (Isaiah 11:10 ). We even have Jesus die on a tree to fulfill prophesy (Deut 21:22, Gal 3:13). We even have a tree take part in the promise of the New Jerusalem (Rev 22:2). There's over thirty different kinds of trees mentioned in the bible, and throughout it's entirety. It's obvious that God wants us to pay some sort of attention to them.


So, what do they tell us? Well, I'm obviously not an expert on trees, just and enthusiast. But I have a few ideas. Below are some of my thoughts on them:


Trees bear through the seasons.

We see trees go through a wide range of weather. They start out in the spring along with an abundance of new life all around them. Spring is easy for a tree most of the time, and sun and nutrients are in abundance. As if in celebration, they grow upward and stretch out their arms. Over time though, Summer passes and Fall hits. Blasted with wind, the trees are suddenly hit with hardship. They know how to suffer well though, and become the most beautiful during this time. As they begin to die, they show dazzling colors that are much brighter and spectacular than their former spring green. Finally in winter, they let death take them. Though dead, they are not gone. They know spring will hit again, and rebirth will take place. They know there will again come a time to reach out and enjoy the sunlight.

We should be like this. We should rejoice with all we have in times of abundance. We should recognize the beautiful picture our suffering makes. We should understand that death is not the end, and that life will reach us again.

Jesus was nailed on a tree. Much like how animals had to be killed for Adam and Eve to be clothed after their sin, a tree must die for us to be clothed in righteousness. Jesus is the tree, and a tree had to be cut to nail him.


Trees seek light

Trees don't just sit there and get light. Sure, it happens anyway from time to time, but for the most part, they have to spend all their effort reaching up toward the light. Our walk is the same way, sometimes we'll randomly get hit by a patch of light and get to bask in its warmth. Most of the time though, we have to reach for God with all we can, and trust that he's still shining down on us. We shouldn't be discouraged when we haven't had that. It doesn't mean we're drifting away. It just means there's some shade for now. If we keep reaching for Him, we'll feel the sunlight on our skin again.


Trees are unique

No two trees are alike. And there's a lot of them. There are over 50 trees for every one person on the planet. Over 400 billion trees, and each is one of a kind.

Trees have a purpose. that little tree I saw might have been waiting its whole life for the one god glorifying moment of me noticing it.

standing firm always. they stand firm, but they technically don't do anything. they have to wait for things to come to them. we're no different.